When you are old, it is hard to get started...

This is a Falcon I have neglected. I managed to get it started using a flagon from Galbraiths Ale House filled with petrol. My rebuilt fuel pump works well, there is some problem between the cleaned out, repainted, rust-removed fuel tank and the rebuilt pump. The car has relocated to Avondale.

Oh Hello 2011

Is there any chance I can actually be committed and disciplined enough to do this again? Stay tuned.

Substitute Zombies

So, I once had a solution to a work brief, but the more I think about it the more it seems it'd also be pretty sweet as a plan for the upcoming Inevitable Zombie Apocalypse. So, if we substitute my XE Falcon ute for the XD in this illustration, and imagine there is a zombie on that bicycle rather than the lycra-clad bicyclist (resisting urge to say faggot) then I do believe I have designed a pretty awesome zombie clearance ve-hicle. I also wonder if feeding zombie mince to capybaras and wild dogs is a good idea or we may just end up with zombiecapybaras and zombiehounds. Good hunting either way though eh?

Family Heirlooms

Sometimes things just fall together. I went up to visit an Uncle last weekend who I haven't seen in a couple of years. He was in the process of doing some cleaning out and told me I could come get my Dad's tool cabinet. I did. It is awesome. Awesome because now i have somewhere sweet to store my tools. More awesome for the fact that inside it is where my Grandad has labelled a shelf because it was his before it was my Dad's. Vinnie and I gave it a cleanout, some rust treatment and a Coop devil sticker, because that's our trademark.

Remember the Apocalypse?

Me and the Brew Crew got to bottling the ginger beer I laid down a week or so ago on Saturday. Each had a part in the process and it was a perfect little assembly line really. We scored a grand total of 25 quarts, quite impressive really. I didn't bother doing any gravity checking, so the actual acohol content should be an amusing surprise for those who consume them. Given I added about 1.5 kg of sugars, it should be on the far side of 4%. It'll go into the shelter for when the zombie hordes attack.

Black, Blue, Bronze, Bacon, Back.

So the ute is back, beautifully cut and polished, and with a fresh gearbox, and a new tailight, and my wallet incredibly light. Mainly due to AA insurance having a dipshit assessor who refutes that the damage done to the gearbox occurred in the crash. So I plan on writing a joyous letter to them about that.









The Bronze had a major underhaul, with the petrol tank out and treated internally with evaporust, then sanded by my young assistants, and coated in three layers of primer, then put back in. Lines need to be hooked up and all the final bits put on this weekend, then she'll have a test run on the petrol. While it was out of the way I got underneath with the rust converter and treated all the shitty surface rust on the poor old girl and replaced the diff oil. Still needs a test run but should be good. Then an exhaust and road legality testing. Good bye more money.







And to celebrate all this frickin awesome hard work and task completion and youthful achievement we all ate delicious Colonial Bacon sandwiches. Celebracon! Yum.

Easing In

The ute is still somewhere, I don't exactly know where, getting fixed, hopefully. I am about to fire up The Bronze as a daily. She got a couple hundred dollars worth of love on the weekend, so I won't be eating this month but will be going to work in style.

Other than that I have nothing to say about anything.

On the Go slow

I have done little lately, i put some mags on the Battletruck, had some bitch crash into the front of it and decommision the reverse gear in the gearbox. Now I'm waiting on AA Insurance to get their shit together so she's sitting forelornly in the drive way at The Ballroom. I got inspired to make some Ginger Bee. I got the Brewcraft kit,, which is nothing like I remembered and seems like nothing more than a can of malt extract and a flavoursachet. i gues sthe proof will be in the bottle in a month or two. I lack motivation to write. This is all.



Oh yeah, I forgot I went to Beach Hop 2010 at whangamata, so if you want to see pics of awesome hot rods, rat rods, and other V8 stuff, check out my flickr page

Yeah, and I did a stencil of those fantails. And I gave someone the design for a tattoo, pics when it happens.

I am a little slower

I've been busy/lazy. Lots of little things but nothing big and worth adding, I did the brakes on the XE Ute on the weekend, just in time, straight forward, I should go pro. I was gonna write a "How To" but I got my hands dirty and stuck into it and forgot. I also started flickring my photos. If you're into photos. I only have a cellphone camera, luckily it's a Sony and cybershots have always done me good. Oh yeah I also went to watch the Classic Racing at Hampton Downs with 2 of my small spermgrowths, where my friend Adam was racing his Mk 1 Escort. All my friends drive Fords. Being a lame cameraless cunt I took no pics. I should bite the bullet and buy one eh?

Stop! ok.

The XB falcon now has some beautiful hand-formed brakelines feeding the precious fluid to the rear brakes. No major fuckups, everything went pretty sweet. All that remains is an exhaust system and reinstall of the petrol tank. And a few more hundred dollars. Oh joy. Did got my certificate of motorbike riding. was fun. i need sleep.

Well, since you asked

I'm sure you're wondering what the fuck I am up to this weekend. Good question. I should, in theory make those brakelines happen, I have straightened all the line, so all it;'ll take would be some commitment and use of the DOUBLE flaring kit I bought, and some time. I should do that. And then, I guess I also have the next project; I picked up some EPS (Expanded Polystrene or somesuchshit, might not be EPS) but basically it's the foam from the packing of a new Mac monitor I got from my dear friends in the digital department. I'm gonna cut it, shape it a bit, make it hold a speaker that'll fit into a tight spot in my XE Falcon ute, and then bog it and fibreglass coat it and make it awesonme. But first the XB. I may've even found a new fuel sender unit, as it turns out the one I cleaned up is too shagged to be reused. Hmmm, sux but good. Oh, and I plan on getting my basic handling skills cert via riderskills. I even got a Matt Black Helmet with an iridium lens. I'm so badass it hurts your mum. Ask her. Go on, ask her.

Cooking up some cool shit

The notion of putting a roof over your kids' heads is all very well, the reality of putting an actual roof, or ceiling to be accurate, over a child's head is slightly different, nonetheless took a swing at it on the weekend.

And so, in the accompanying photos you'll see the original roof from when we moved in through to where it is about now. From the ripping and removing of about a hundred years of crap, some dodgy seventies cover-up renovation, some rewiring and installing of some flash new lighting and some aligning of lines that show up every bow and curve in a saggy old cottage. I actually neglected to take a shot at the end of the day, as i was not neglecting a well-earned beer but basically it looks fucking awesome. Big ups to my sister for her brains and logic.

And, you will see, that the brake line dilemma has been resolved, I now have two reasonably straight lengths of line ready to be bent into position.

Internal Dialogues

So, I've been quietly musing the brake line saga in my head as I still need to, and want to get it done. The lines from the shop are coiled for transport and i've been trying to figure out how to straighten them for rebending and refitting. I toyed with the idea of skateboard wheels to roll it between and then it occured to me today. Get a Bit of 2x4 and put a hole through it about the same diameter as the external diameter of the pipe, a touch smaller, then pull the coiled pipe through it, in theory, straigtening it. If it doesn't work get two pieces of 2x4. This is my theory. I have practised the flaring on the spare length I have. I can do it.

I have also sold the big flash tdo5hra turbo off the VR4 to fund a rebuild of the original unit. Realistically I can't afford to tweak it like a bitch at the moment, so if i can at least get it on the road I'll feel like I've achieved something. Too many cars. Once it's on the road I'll probably flick it, or at least swap it for a motorbike.

Or maybe a bike and motor so I can build something like this...

Big little shit

For all you ceiling freaks I have mapped out my kitchen on Illustrator. It is an interesting shape I'm sure you'll agree. It is getting redone this weekend according to my mental plan. I have grooved sheets of board that'll give it a simulated Tongue & Groove effect. Matching up lines, on an awkward shape, kinda like wallpapering on your back, but heavier, and harder. Doesn't sound like a recipe for disaster. Anyhting has gotta be better than those shit woolen cardboard tiles though. So that's something to look forward to, in the meantime maybe reflect on the stripped and semi-varnished HWC and doorframes. And the beading i put around the bottom of the back of the fire. My first mitring. Shocking job I admit, still better than not being finished, let whoever owns it next fix it.

My life as an abject failure.

I never got around to doing the brakes, and I feel a bit like a failure, for letting down the thousands of you out there who come here because this site pops up when you google chatroulette.com or batporn or whatever it is that you looked up that got you here, but bitch, be cool, I did make a chicken prison. I hate chickens. They are painfully annoying c&#ts. So I made a chicken prison camp. Freerange is fine, if you like shit everywhere and being harassed by malevolent red beasts that destroy your garden and enter your house to shit every where. I’d like to get rid of them, I wasn’t allowed, but I did get to make this magnificent structure to detain them. I rule. I also did more awesome shit. But this is the major thing. Oh and I started stripping down some doors I discovered. I have a better project in mind. Stay tuned.

Stop. Hammerzeit

And so, you can see one very awesome double-flaring kit to suit brake tubing. I have about 4 metres worth in the ute, and this weekend i will use that, the fittings I got from the team at Sterling Brake & Clutch in Onehunga and this sweet little bitch that Tony from Repco, Grey Lynn ordered in to manufacture and lay in my own new brake lines. It may well have cost me near as much as it would cost to have them done by a pro. Maybe not, but now I have the tools and a new skill.
Ad tomorrow I am also collecting 6 sheets of grooved MDF to put a fakey roof in the kitchen of the ballroom. The grooves will make it look like it is actually T&G,then I shall use my detailing skills to dirty it up and 'freak it' (tech term that one) and appear original. I think this is what they call, in the industry, a bodge job. Mwahhahaha.

Hippie Hot Rodding

So I got the motor components back on last weekend, the coil got taken off and cleaned too, so with everything nice and tidy I can track down any more leaks a bit easier. I took the seat belt with the missing tab into Gemmell’s Bag Repairs (Symonds St, Newton, where it's always been...) and the guy in there stitched it up for me for nothing which was awesome, cheers bro, so that can go back in, and with the exception of the exhaust, she should be warrantable. The only thing that really remains to get her on the road is flush out the fuel tank and replace all the brake fluid, two boring and stinky/dirty jobs.

I also made a shitload of Hummus from scratch as part of my clean up the insides of the temple exercise. It was kinda fun, soaking all the chickpeas rather than using canned ones, and mixing and blending till it tasted just right. I wish I could add a recipe but I made three very different batches playing with flavours and textures. Best way to cook really, just play and enjoy it.

Oh wait, I’m so slack at posting that the above, which I wrote last Wednesday, is now out of date.
So on the weekend I got the petrol tank out, a c^#t of a job thanks to one nut on the underside spinning and it being inaccessible thanks to the fuck-ugly towbar. So I realised if I was going to do it I’d need to go balls deep.

So, the towbar is now off, a prick of a job mainly due to the fact I had to go to Repco and get a new deep socket to get the bumper irons off as the tow bar is set up between them. And the staff at Repco Henderson, with the exception of the older woman, are a bunch of retarded shits. I dared show up at 4.55 on a Saturday, covered in grease, screaming into the carpark, obviously on a mission from god, and the shitty, stumpy, but vaguely cute blonde bitch behind the counter had the audacity to speak to me in one word commands and click her fucking fingers when I got to the counter. And I was at the counter about 45 seconds after I walked in the door coz I know my way round that store pretty bloody well given how much (time and) money I spend there. Rude as fuck. Luckily their Grey Lynn branch know their stuff and have tracked down all manner of shit for me without a problem and with great service, otherwise I’d boycott Repco. Anyway, got it in the end and got home and thanks to my awesome friend (and six year old son) Vinnie I was able to get the heavy chrome bumper lined up and bolted in place in the dark of my powerless garage. And the valance panel. Sweet action.
Then we rinsed the guts off the possum skin we've been tanning, it's soft as anything on the back, i think thanks to my propriatry blend of curing paste - olive oil, baking soda and then a dash of vinegar, followed by a few weeeks of caking with salt. Nice and soft but holding the fur in.

And then I made Eye Fillet steak sandwiches for the boys for dinner, featuring my homemade Hummus.

I also painted the battery clamp in Ford Blue, only because some guy is charging $30 for them on trademe s it must be worth looking after. Fucked If I’m paying that to replace it. I also cleaned the blistering rust off the fuel tank sender unit which will hopefully work sweek when I’ve resoldered the pipe back in it’s rightful spot. See the before, can't be arsed adding the after but have faith it is sweet like your mamma.
Is that it? Oh, I also got the fantails stencilled onto the wall in Son Number 1's room, they need some detailing added, but you get the idea.

Ummm, also tracking down a brake tube flaring tool (via Repco Grey Lynn, not Henderson) so I can replace the lines on the Falcon that had rtusted to the point of bursting. So will be bending and rerouting them when I get that sorted. Putting in the cleaned petrol tank (although not essential as it runs on LPG sweet). Is that all? Oh yeah, making a yum Vege Risotto or the boys lunch tomorrow because I am a fucking ace dad.

Very fucking busy.

What's on the Ute?

Someone I know has this thing on their blog called "What's on the Mannequin", coz that's what they do, sew things, so in their honour today I am having "What's on the Ute" - One of the joys of having a ute is it can carry all manner of crap, and it's easy, you pick it up and throw it in. Sweet. Especially sweet when you see something you want, for example a stack of alloy tread plates from a scaffolding set-up that'd be damn handy ramps if you, say, wanted to put a motorbike in the tray of your ute one day... Sweet. Thanks Mr. Side-of-the-road-scaffold-leaver-guy!

I also finished the Falcon petrol pump rebuild, looks purty and will be bolted on during the weekend, exactly when I'm not sure as I'm off to Pukekohe for the Classic Racing on Saturday and working Sunday. Who knows. Look at those pictures. Sweet action.

Works in Progress

Being overwhelmed by motivation on the weekend, and stuck inside due to the rain, I decided it'd be a good day to take apart the fuel pump on the XB, it's an A.C. with a glass bowl that I could see was gunky as. I'd also found it was leaking, pumping gas on the side of the motor, which I've heard is a bit dangerous... So I took it off to replace the gasket, and the alternator, which I'll get to, and set about dismantling it. Which I did, I'd thought it was just a gasket that needed replacing, so it was kinda exciting to find that the inside had no gasket. So I opened the manual. Which I should've done much, much sooner. It's a diaphragm, not a gasket. So after the 'oh shit' moment I pulled it all to pieces and scrubbed the shit out of everything, planning to get the parts today. So it's not that easy finding a diaphragm for a 1974 Falcon. I tried the usual places and finally managed to track one down via this place - Basis. It's going to take a day or two to arrive but the guy I dealt with was really helpful, a nice change after the muppets at Repco.

And, so, the alternator is a Bosch one, one of the three or four you might be lucky enough to find on the pre-cross flow Falcons. Having learned my lesson with the fuel pump I opened and read the manual on disassembly. I just wanted to clean off the grease and get it looking tidy. Which was straight-forward and then i got stuck into the re-assembly, all straight forward until I didn't read the reassembly guide. Genius. Managed to snap off the brushes. So new ones are also on order. And so I'll be learning to solder...

Kumeu to Hamilton

So the 2010 Kumeu Hot Rod and Classic Car show happened on the weekend. Oh yeah and the Big Day Out was on Friday, a big, draining weekend, so i didn't do much beyond attend things. Pretty much the highlight of the BDO was The Decemberists and Devendra Banhart, the rest of it was a bit on the meh side of life. Kumeu was also ok, I fell in love with a turboed XA Falcon wagon, running a pre-crossflow motor and a Garret T04 blowing thru the carb. Pretty sweet looking machine and for sale at what I reckon is a pretty damn cheap $9800. There was a nice arse-jacked Vauxhall Victor like my Grandad used to have, looking nice and eighties. And I snapped a shot of some weird, chopped, dropped thing. It was a weird arse looking thing, maybe started as some sort of agri or industrial vehicle. Looked cool whatever it is.

I shot down to Hamilton today and picked up a Fairmont front end for the ute so I can do a bit of a pseudo ESP thing on that. And met up with the guy I sold the Fairmont too, he's got a 302 and 4 speed in it now and she sounded good, and looked good hurtling along the road. I kinda miss that car.





Oh yeah, also finished painting the garage, put locks on it, put some posts in for the new chicken coop, went and saw The Fantastic Mr Fox and i think that was about it. Seems like enough to me.

auld lang signs

So, a bit of a pictorial update as I figure out where to next.

I'm considering posts relating to the TDO5HRA-15G off a Makinen Edition Mitsi Evolution 6.5 I have sitting under the table in the carport next to the boring standard TDO5, that'd be interesting, but only coz I've spent half the night trying to figure out what the fuck i need to do to get it onto the 4g63t block from an e39 VR4 Galant I have rusting at a friends (refer pics, unfortunately the personalised plate SCUNGE has gone).


A post about my XE Fairmont that I swapped my N14 Pulsar (Sentra GT Cup style) for? It was a literally mint wagon, but I have since sold her to a lovely guy named Willie from South Auckland.


I'm considering posts on the Ford Falcon XE ute that I now own and I have bought (but have yet to collect) the Fairmont front for.


The awesome short kiwi roadtrip through the central North Island back from picking it up (after a train ride on the Overlander down country), the first 'truck' load it carried for my sister. So many, many things.


Some housecraft type things, like a Cut Collective style wall in the boy's playroom.




The joy of spending NYE watching your six year old boys play checkers by candle light, or getting up the next day at 7am to hunt rabbits. How to skin a possum and cure the skin using your own special concoction to avoid it getting too crunchy? How not to grow tomatoes?




The joys of Tailgatin' NZ style?

I dunno, here's some pics, sorry about the formatting, blogger is an annoying cunt and I have a short attention span with no eye for detail.

oh hai 2010!

So, it’s all new and different. And I’m about ten years older mentally, which is probably making me act more age appropriate but has undertones of boring I routinely reject.

In retrospect I realised I never mentioned the relocation of the ballroom, so the new Ballroom is The West Coast Ballroom. I shall upload some pics from the purchase date, about 15 months ago, and the current state and you can fill in the blanks as you wish.

But mainly I’m kicking this back into gear for the projects side of things, those niggly little things I really enjoyed doing but neglected to shit.

Hold tight, it’s going to be a ride.

Apparently we still have a pulse...

...and there are bulbs in the ground.
And spirits in the still.
And I have two maps.
And two wolves.

Dusting off the Piano

The ballroom is getting cleaned up and will hopefully be back in business soon. The shed (behind Door #2 Bob, with the majestic antique padlock) has been cleaned and currently has three fermenters bubbling away. Two are dedicated to spirit production at the moment as levels are low and demand is high – it's an economic recession motherfuckers, time to moonshine! There's also 23l of a well-hopped ale in there. Nothing to match an Epic Armageddon, but what could? I bottled 5 dozen tallies last weekend and they're conditioning in the cool Waitarua nights. Outside the shed I've had some seeds germinate (Broccoli, Kale, Peas) and heap of bulbs have popped up, my daffodils and Dutch irises, so thats looking ace. The Bronze is awaiting the sun. A few stencils are awaiting the scalpel. Shits happening.

Someone made some labels for some BrewNZ Beervana promo bottles.



And some mean posters for Malthouse

It's a Dose, It's almost Daily. It's definitely Bogan.

There are plenty of wheels you can put on a Falcon.
Eric Bana put 17 inch Custom made Minilites on his.
Doesn’t mean I have to.
I don’t turn green and blow my nut just coz he did.
I can.
But I don't.

There were three real options in the seventies.
Tridents, Turbos or Hotwires.
I could have gone The Tridents.
Like everyone else.
Nah.
Cheviot Turbos like on the General Lee.
Say no more.













I got some Hot Wires.
14 inches of twisted fun.

An Old Idea

This is the view from Room 12D at the Quest on Johnston St, Wellington. The view is of the HP Tower down on Featherston St. Close to the ANZ & National Bank. A fine looking tower, all mirrory and exciting. Please note that on top is a rather attractive HP Logo



Kinda like this one, but white. For ease of explanation I’ll use this to demonstrate what I’m thinking.




Voila, it’s the nightime. There's another alien! OMG! You'll notice all the little worker bees are still in the HP hive, but, it’s a bit hard to tell it’s HP coz there’s some bars missing from the sides of that neon sign up there and the ‘n’ is gone from ‘invent’
Hmmm, invent...



This shows whats missing from the neon sign...





This is a picture of a projector. You can find out all about it here.



I’d like to get a projector of some description and similar power to replace the missing bits of the neon light, ideally in a contrasting colour like red, from a neighbouring building. The one shown there is probably bigger than what we’d need but demonstrates the idea.

I reckon it’d be pretty easy to spin some PR out of it.

And every night at 12 I’d like it to flash ‘invert’ for thirty seconds.